Use This Tool When…
Life feels dark, and you’re struggling with worry, grief, loneliness, uncertainty, or something difficult you’re carrying. This can be especially true during those quiet nighttime hours when your thoughts seem louder and everything feels heavier.
Use it when you need a little comfort, reassurance, or hope to help you through.
The Tool
It’s two o’clock in the morning. The house is quiet. Everyone else seems to be sleeping, but you’re wide awake.
Maybe you’re worrying about someone you love, thinking about the bills, replaying a difficult conversation, or facing something in your life that you can’t control. Or maybe you’re going through a painful season, and the sadness or loneliness seems especially heavy tonight.
There’s something about those quiet hours that can make our troubles feel even bigger. And sometimes, no matter how hard we try, we just can’t think our way out of what we’re feeling.
That’s when I want you to remember something: The Flashlight.
Think about what happens when the power goes out. You reach for a flashlight. It doesn’t make the darkness disappear, but it gives you a little light when you need it.
Life can be like that, too. We all need something that brings us comfort, reminds us of the good things in our lives, or helps us hold onto hope when things feel dark.
And that’s what this Thinking Tool is about.
Who or what is your flashlight?
Find Your Flashlight
Everybody’s flashlight is different. Think about the people, places, memories, and things that have brought you comfort, peace, or hope during difficult times.
Here are some possibilities:
- People: Someone you love, someone who makes you laugh, someone who listens without judging, or someone whose presence reminds you that you’re not alone.
- Memories: A childhood experience, a family gathering, a special holiday, a moment with someone you’ve lost, or a time when life felt especially good.
- Places: Your grandparents’ kitchen, a favorite fishing spot, a quiet pasture, the mountains, a lake, or somewhere you remember feeling safe and at peace. Sometimes you can close your eyes and visit those places in your mind.
- Faith: Prayer, your relationship with God, spiritual practices, or the reassurance that you don’t have to carry everything alone.
- The Bible: A favorite passage of Scripture, a Psalm that brings comfort, or words you’ve returned to during other difficult seasons.
- Small Comforts: A favorite song, a photograph, a pet beside you, a familiar book, or something that brings a smile to your face.
- Reminders: Encouraging words someone once shared, a lesson you’ve learned, or remembering another difficult season you made it through.
And don’t limit yourself to this list. Your flashlight might be something entirely different. What matters is that it brings you a little comfort or hope when you need it.
You get to decide what belongs in your collection of flashlights.
Don’t Rely on Just One Flashlight
You don’t have to have just one flashlight. Maybe remembering a peaceful afternoon at the lake helps you through a sleepless night. Maybe hearing the voice of someone you love brings comfort during a difficult day. Maybe reading your Bible or listening to a favorite song helps you find a little peace.
Different flashlights can help in different situations. And the more you discover, the more sources of comfort and hope you have available when life gets difficult.
You don’t have to wait until you’re struggling to find them, either. Start collecting your flashlights while life is going well, so you’ll know where to reach when things get dark.
You Don’t Have to Make the Darkness Disappear
There’s something important to remember about this tool. Your flashlight isn’t meant to make you stop hurting. It’s not about pretending everything is fine, forcing yourself to be happy, or finding something positive about a genuinely painful situation.
Sometimes life is hard. Sometimes we’re hurting. And sometimes there simply aren’t any easy answers. Your flashlight doesn’t have to fix any of that.
It’s there to bring you a little comfort and hope while you’re going through it. Sometimes that’s enough to help you get through another difficult moment.
Try This
The next time you find yourself struggling in a dark moment, especially during those long nighttime hours, try this:
1. Remember The Flashlight.
When everything feels heavy, remind yourself that you have sources of comfort and hope you can reach for.
2. Ask yourself: “Who or what is my flashlight?”
Think about the people, memories, places, or things that bring a little light into your life.
3. Reach for your light.
Call someone you trust. Look at a photograph. Listen to a song. Read your Bible. Pray. Or close your eyes and revisit a place or memory that brings you peace.
Give yourself a little time with whatever you’ve chosen. You don’t have to force anything to happen. Just allow yourself to experience whatever comfort it offers.
And remember, you can have more than one flashlight.
Retrieval Cue
“Who or what is my flashlight?”
When life gets dark, remember your flashlight and reach for something that brings you comfort or hope. You don’t have to figure everything out tonight. Sometimes you just need a little light to help you through the darkness.
And remember, the sun will rise again.
Safety Check
The Flashlight is meant to help you find comfort and hope during difficult moments. It isn’t meant to replace support from other people or professional care when you need it.
Sometimes the darkness can become overwhelming, and the things that usually bring us comfort may not feel like enough. That doesn’t mean you’ve failed or done anything wrong.
If you’re struggling to feel safe, having thoughts of suicide or harming yourself, or feeling like you can’t get through the night safely, please reach out for help. In the United States, you can call or text 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. If you’re in immediate danger, call 911.
Sometimes the flashlight you need is another person who can help you through the darkness.
Related Tools
Remember Who You Are — Reconnect with your identity and what matters when difficult circumstances make you lose sight of yourself.
Bring Backup — Recognize when you need the support of another person rather than carrying everything alone.
Walk Through the Door — When reaching for help feels difficult, take the step toward receiving it.